4th of July Weekend Recap

As I said in the last post, I apologize for Blesus and I being dead all week in the blogosphere. However, after you hear about the weekend we had, I am hoping you will understand.

Friday: Kicked the weekend of right - with dinner and a movie with Turkish Delight and one of her delightful friends. Of course we were like every other woman on the planet who likes fashion/hates bitchy ice queens/yearns for Vincent Chase and went to see The Devil Wears Prada. It was good, but not completely true to the book. That disappointed me because I had really sympathized with the book, since at one point in my "career" I did work for a woman with less of a soul than the book version of Miranda Priestly. But it had great clothes, a great soundtrack, Vincent Chase was hot, and Meryl Streep can do no wrong in my eyes. And I was home by 11 and could get a good night's sleep to save up for the rest of the weekend's activities.

Saturday: Got the call late Friday night at Naval Officer was coming in to town with his new ladyfriend, and The Slacker would be having a bbq at his place to commemorate this event. Spread the word quickly to Turkish Delight and Blesus, and we planned a 4pm rendevouz at the Slacker's house. Upon arrival at the bbq, we discover a few things: 1)Lots of beer; 2)Not lots of people; 3)Our on-and-off good friend Brown; 4)Naval Officer's ladyfriend could possibly be Beirut Champion of the World and schooled all of us. You know what that means - lots of beer consumed in not a lot of time.

Following a disjointed game of Flip Cup (my favorite, but I couldn't quite sort myself out enough to play well), we decided to make the loooooong trek (so 2 blocks) to Millie and Al's. Its a little fuzzy, but here's what I remember from that adventure:
- We lost Naval Officer before we even left the house. He never made it to the bar. Feel free to draw your own conclusions from that.
- The Slacker's girlfriend bought me and Turkish Delight a pitcher that we carried around like it was a safety blanket. We would not let go of that sucker for anything. Yet, we were too drunk to really drink it.
- I spotted a cute boy standing near us and pointed him out to Turkish Delight. Next thing I know, I have some random girl and her boyfriend and this guy who I swear could be Turtle on Entourage and Turkish Delight telling me I need to go hit on him. The girl is playing with my hair, her boyfriend is telling me I'm cute and the Turtle-esque guy didn't really bring anything to the table other than to creep us all out.
-Turtle-esque guy made a reappearance to tell me his friend wanted to meet me. This, of course, incited a lot of "What are we, in 8th grade" comments from me and Turkish Delight, but I eventually relented and went to talk to him. It was underwhelming (except for his Secret Service badge - something about that is so attractive) and the highlight was Brown, Blesus, The Slacker and a few other male friends executing "rescue operations" to get me away from him. My favorite was the Blesus "Swoop In/Swoop Out" to make sure I was ok every 32 seconds. He's so sly, that one.
- I got invited to make some choices on the jukebox by Brown but then all my selections got vetoed. Seriously, who doesn't like to hear Madonna's "Holiday" and The Darkness' "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" and Prince's "Kiss" when at the bar?????
- The night came to a close when Turkish Delight and I were sitting on empty kegs in the bar and could barely stay awake. We made a stop at Pizza Bolis, but not before we got cornered by Turtle-esque guy and his 8th grade friend. What part of "I walked away from the conversation mid-sentence so I'm clearly not interested" didn't they understand?

Sunday: Surprisingly, I was feeling good when I got up. At 1pm. Wandered around my apartment a little bit and then headed to Hedwig's apartment for a cocktail hour with the gays. Was super fun, always so good to see Hedwig and his boyfriend, AI. And as always, I had 4 more cocktails than I intended. And I mixed. But how good does all of this sound: 2 pina coladas, 2 glasses of Rose, and a beer? I needed to sample all the goods.

Afterwards, headed to Turkish Delight's friend's apartment for Martini Night. Now, this moniker is slightly misleading, because you would think we would be drinking martinis all night, correct? In actuality, we consumed 2 1-litre bottles of wine before we even put a dent in the martini fixings. Our friend Derek (as in Zoolander) came over to play bartender, despite his own severe hangover from the night before (which had included a stop-by at The Slacker's). He made some great martinis, so we all had a few. At this point, we were pretty drunk, but determined to make it out to a bar because we didn't have to work on Monday and for the love of god, we were going to make the most of it!!!! Derek, of course, bailed, but we gave him a pass b/c he was pretty green. We were slightly disappointed to see a return to Millie and Al's was out of the question (what reputable bar closes at midnight on a SUNDAY??? People, please), so we headed to The Reef. Then we had the beer that I think put me, Turkish Delight and Blesus over the edge. We didn't need that beer. Our livers were resisting. But we drank them anyways. And then somehow I got home. Parentals, sorry that I forgot how I got home, but its normal and I'm alive, so we have no reason to be worried.

Monday AKA The Anniversary of Blesus' Birth: Here's where the weekend really took a turn for the worse.

I tried to be productive. I went to UHaul and got some boxes for my move. I cleaned a little. I did some laundry. But hanging over my head all day was that ominous event, Blesus' birthday party. I love Blesus. I love parties. But I was feeling tired and I was feeling unmotivated to be my usual charming self. Turkish Delight and delayed our arrival a little, making an appearance about 3 hours after the party started. I think this is the place where I should note that all weekend it was so hot that I think everyone in the greater DC metropolitan area lost AT LEAST 7 pounds just by sweating. It was ridiculous. Anyways, we arrived at the party just in time to make a few discoveries:
1)Blesus was already well on his way to a Day After The Birthday Hangover
2)A friend of Turkish Delight's from high school was there and wearing a sweatband (as we've addressed in this blog before, what is that about???? It doesn't matter that its hot, it looks dumb)
3)It was still really hot and physically impossible to stand outside. Sooo......

Turkish Delight and I staked out a prime spot indoors, near the AC AND the fan. We let people come to us, usually bringing gifts of beer and more beer and an occasional shot. Of course, we gratefully accepted these gifts. And this was the perfect spot, b/c not only did we get to meet/judge everyone who walked in and out of the house, but we also got to watch last year's Hot Dog Eating Championship. But we knew we couldn't remain this lazy all night, so when the sun finally set, we decided it was time to be social. So what did we do? We organized a wiffle ball game outside.

Not much to note there, other than that the guys were AWFUL at it and the girls schooled them. And then some girl dumped powder and beer on another girl and I ran away because I hate physical confrontation. It scares me and so did these girls. I don't understand throwing icky substances on other people that would ruin their cute outfits. Its just mean.

Party wrapped up and High School Friend drove (parents, again, we were responsible here and he was semi-sober driver. And we only went 6 blocks) us to Nolan's. That was fairly uneventful, except we did meet some REALLY friendly interns from Arkansas. Remember when you were an intern and you were really excited to be here and be getting into the bars illegally and meeting cute and older men/women? Oh, to be so innocent and without cynicism.

Made the move from Nolan's to Adams Mill. There were many vodka drinks consumed and we took over one end of the bar and made it Blesus' Birthday Dance Floor. Seriously, everyone in the bar wanted to be our group b/c we were having so much fun. I love when people have bar envy. Except when I have it, and then its not so fun. Bar closed and we all headed out to various destinations. Turkish Delight and I really wanted some falafel; however, it was closed. Someone needs to talk with the business owners of 18th Street about closing their establishments on holiday weekends. Its just bad for business. We left Blesus, who went back to where the bbq had been held, and we walked home.

The only way to sum up the night is to tell you about the voicemail I had on my phone when I woke up the next morning, from Blesus. "Kelly, its Blesus. I hope you are not dead. That is all."

Happy Independence Day!!


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