7/10/2006

Toilet Money


So there's this guy in my office who repeatedly counts his money while on the toilet. I know this sounds a bit bizarre and I feel odd sharing this; however, I'm not lying. Every time he and I are in the restroom at the same time, he goes into the stall and I, within seconds, hear flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick. I can even hear the sound of a rubber band being taken off what easily could be a wad of bills! I didn't want to jump to conclusions because I don't KNOW that it's money he's counting, but in reality I DO! We all know what money being manipulated in one's hands sounds like. I mean, it's not like this guy is going through files or playing solitaire or tallying coupons while taking care of business. He's CLEARLY counting money and I hate to judge, but I find it weird. Additionally, I''ve heard grumblings around the office that this person "supplements his income" with illegal substances, which could explain the over-abundance of "flicks". I mean, if I were counting cash on the toilet it would sound more like flick, flick, flick... *insert sound of me counting change*. But, as I said earlier, he's more like flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick and it goes on for another minute. Granted, he could be a stripper at night and these could all be singles, but there's more of a chance that Steve Martin is my real father. Plus, it's way more interesting to believe he's some hustler who moonlights by day in an office and secretly slings crack at night just to maintain the luxurious lifestyle he become accustomed to, right?

However, the fact of the matter is: don't count your money on the toilet at work. It's weird and makes those who share the same space uncomfortable.

ps: can I borrow $20?

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