8/27/2006

Pardon Me, Do You Have Any Gray PouPANTS!?

So apparently my dedication to this here blog is as questionable as Enron's accounting practices. It's been over a month since I've last posted and admittedly that is unacceptable. So, I'm taking this opportunity to reaquaint myself with das blog and give you a taste of what I do best: have strange encounters with the even stranger characters of D.C.'s streets.

A couple weeks ago, on my way home from the gym, I see in the distance on P street a man on crutches. This man looks particularly downtrodden. He has a full beard (not unlike that of Limerick Man) and is dressed head-to-toe in hospital scrubs. I see that he is attempting to stop people on the street for whatever business he has to offer, however no one is giving this guy the time of day. Immediately I understand and accept that I will be the next person to be stopped. Point of information: I've become particularly hardened, jaded, cynical, call it what you may having lived in the District and have seen anything and everything you could possibly imagine. A bum fight in the Circle (check), a man in full men's clothing but wearing a woman's wig (check). P.S. that man was NOT Crooked Wig and Jumpsuit Guy. A guy holding a sign the reads "New York Times For Sale: $6.50/issue" but upon closer inspection he in fact is NOT selling the NYT but rather crumpled issues of New York Daily News, New York Post and the Washington Blade from three months ago (check). A woman taking a "shower" under the fountain in Dupont Circle (check). However, at this particular juncture with Crutches Guy my normally detatched self buckled under the weight of his sad state. Perhaps it was the intense heat or maybe I was in a good mood, I don't know.

As expected Crutches Guy approaches me and declares: "Excuse me Sir, I don't want any money but I do have a question. Do you live around here?" Any person with a reasonable head on his/her shoulders would immediately refer to one of the more crucial tenets of life: don't let crazy (looking) people know where you live. I also happen to be reading "Helter Skelter" so I should DEFINITELY be cautious of questionable contact with strangers. I'm all about those light summer reads, by the way. Nonetheless, I defy all better judgment and reply "Yes." After all my building was practically right in front of us. Crutches guy goes on to explain that he, again, isn't looking for money but had just had an unfortunate brush with the authorities because some lady at the Ben & Jerry's shop thought he was a flasher. In reality (according to him, of course) he was just trying to adjust the big bag of ice that was affixed by tape around his scrub-clad thigh. Anyone who's worn scrubs knows that if not tied properly they tend fall down. I could only imagine the day this guy had with his crutches, loose-fitting pants, 3-pound bag of ice and heat stroke-like condition. He also smelled really bad.

At this point the story takes a turn that even I couldn't have expected. He looks me dead in the eye and asks "Do you have any pants?"

Time, as far as I'm concerned, stops at this moment. Several things are running through my head: Did this guy really just ask my for pants? Do I have any spare pants that I'm willing to part with? It's one thing to let this guy know that I live in the general vicinity but it's another for him to watch me walk into my building that we are more or less standing in front of. If anything does goe awry, he's on crutches, I can take him. Does Weeds come on tonight or tomorrow night?

My come-to-Jesus moment ultimately results in me thinking about how life can throw (any of us) curve balls. Yeah my life is comfortable right now. It's easy for me to take advantage of that. It's easy for me to forget as easy as it is for me to go up to Cape Cod for a clam bake (which I did last weekend) it's just as easy for me to lose my job, my apartment and end up on the streets. There's really not that much separating us all. And really, if I were on crutches and hobbling down the streets of DC in 90-degree weather with scrubs practically down around my ankles wouldn't I want someone to give me some comfortable pants?

Additionally, I did just go through some old clothes and currently had a pile of old pants sitting on my bedroom floor, which I had planned to donate. To Crutches Guy I reply "stay right here." I ran into my apartment, grabbed some gray warm-up pants I had stashed in my donation pile and came back out to find Crutches Guy parked on the front wall of my building. When he saw me come back out with the pants in tow he seemed as surprised as I was that I had actually helped him. "Here you go" is all I said and I turned back around and went into my building.

When I came back into my apartment my roommate, who had been there when I first came in, says:

"where did you just go?"

"oh, I just gave a guy on the street some pants."

Then i went into my room to change.

This past weekend, walking down the street while talking to a friend on a phone I pass a guy who ominously points at me as we pass each other. After we pass I wonder "why in the hell did that guy just point at me for no reason?" 2 seconds later I get this whiff of heinous body odor and it hits me: THAT WAS CRAZY CRUTCH GUY WHO WANTED PANTS!!

So Kelly, as you've been turning over new leaves in Spokompton learning about torts, motions and civil procedure I've learned a little civil procedure of my own here in Wash-Town.

After thinking about it the point he gave me wasn't so much threatening but more recognition-based. It was like he was saying I remember you, thanks for the pants. I only wish I weren't on the phone or I would have asked how they fit. I never did like those pants. It's funny the things you'll buy at outlets.

8/25/2006

Bean Sprouts

Did you know that bean sprouts cause food poisoning pretty regularly? Neither did I until I went down to the laundry room in my building and there were two elderly women there discussing that and many other random topics. These included dirt, casseroles, gardening, chalkboards, and some woman they know who is 90 and was just diagnosed with lung cancer. Apparently she's been a smoker her whole life and is only starting to show the negative effects of nicotine. This last fact was met with a lot of shock and awe. Oh, did I mention these women weren't actually doing laundry? They were just sitting in the laundry room. But I guess that's life in Spokompton.

I just wrapped up my first week of law school. Adjectives that come to my mind about this new experience: overwhelming, interesting, stressful, fun, and overwhelming. Some highlights from my week, in regards to both law school and the new hometown:

1)The scary civil procedure professor who I THOUGHT was cool but who gave me the death stare when I asked a question yesterday. You all know I am not easily intimidated, but she scares me to death. How was I supposed to know about permissive parties to joinder? It was my fourth day in law school!!!

2)The group of 5 people in my section (who may or may not be the trashiest people ever) who were literally yelling at people about the seating chart in crim law yesterday. Yes, we have seating charts, but its merely so the professor can locate people when he wants to humiliate them for not understanding the case law, no matter how many hours were spent trying to understand it.

3)The guy who told me and my new friend (I have 1 at this point) that if "you are not in a social group yet, you're pretty much screwed." I know he was being funny and he more than made amends for it today, but seriously. Am I in high school? Because I'm pretty sure I left that sh*t behind at good 'ol WGHS.

4)I've gone through almost an entire canister of coffee in one week. Well, or like a fourth of it, but that's a lot for me!!! I don't even LIKE Folgers!

5)I haven't gotten in bed before midnight any night except Wednesday. And then I have dreams about law school all night.

6)Apparently cat mutilation is a big problem in Eastern WA.

Tonight will consist of an outting with me and my 70 closest friends, ie my section. It should be a good time because there are some really cool people I've met this week who are going, but I also think that I am over the forced social situations. I wish I could fast forward like 10 weeks to where we're all more comfortable with each other and can have fun and not talk about the 7 thing we all have in common - torts, property, contracts, legal research & writing, criminal law, civil procedure and our complete lack of understanding of those 6 subjects.

If anyone needs me tomorrow, I'll be sitting here at home, doing homework.

8/13/2006

Roadtrip of Luxury

Its finally time for the Road Trip Wrap Up!!! There's so much that happened and so much that we saw! Luckily, Roommate and I kept a journal! To set the scene: Roommate and I have never driven farther than Michigan since living in DC. That 14 hour drive is a fete in and of itself, so we felt pretty excited to be making the trek across the ENTIRE country. We picked up our rental vehicle on Friday, August 4th. We expected to rent a Chevy Uplander but instead we were blessed with the Toyota Sienna!! Let me tell you, Chili Palmer needs to ride in this luxury mobile because it must be the official Cadillac of Minivans! This beast was so smooth to drive and it had at least 17 cupholders for just the driver and passenger! Based on this development, we decided to name our trip the Roadtrip of Luxury. Here's how it went:


Friday, August 4th, 16277 Miles on the Sienna: After picking up the Sienna, I had the awesome task of loading it up. I thought I hadn't packed too much stuff, but apparently I was wrong b/c I ended up having to ship two boxes to myself in Spokane. Don't worry, they're not here yet. Roommate and I are officially faster than UPS Ground. Anyways, I picked Roommate up from work and off we went! Our first leg was to Indianapolis, where we rendevouzed with the female half of Married Couple, who I had stayed with before leaving DC. This leg included the following highlights:
- The states of Maryland, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Indiana.
- We called in a drunk driver near the Cumberland Gap in Maryland (not WV as previously stated). This guy was ALL over the road and could barely hold his head up to watch where he was driving. It was actually pretty scary.
- A stop in Washington, PA, where the Subway is the city center and they sell faux Coach and Chanel handbags for $59.99.
-The aforementioned trickiness of Mapquest and the State of Ohio. Our directions told us that we would only be in Ohio for 10 miles. But you know what? They lied! We had to drive across the whole godd*mned state and we hated every minute of it, especially the traffic jam at 10:45pm and the confederate flag accessories at the Dayton Travel Center.
- The confederate flag accessories confused us, seeing as how Ohio was 1)played a central role in the underground railroad; 2)its in the "North"; 3)the Civil War has been over for about 141 years; 4)we didn't think people still considered slavery to be politicall correct. Blesus, however, said he would not hold it against me if I bought a pink confederate flag belt buckle that said "Redneck Woman." Too bad I don't wear belts.
- We decided that Ohio is just filled with really stupid people.
Final Mileage, Leg One: 16894



Saturday, August 5th, 16894 Miles on the Sienna: We spent all of Saturday at Female Half of Married Couple's family's home on Sweetwater Lake in Indianapolis. All I can really say here is that the house was amazing, the lake was gorgeous, the weather was perfect, the food was amazing, and Roommate and I both got great tans. We did, however, have to drive to the lake, making our final mileage for Saturday 16956

Sunday, August 6th, 16956 Miles on the Sienna: When we left Indianapolis, we of course had to make a quick stop at Appleworks, which is a fruit stand/petting zoo. Seriously. We picked up some berries and off we went! We knew this was going to be our really long day, and it didn't disappoint. This day included:
- The states of Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, and Kansas.
- The first sign that we had actually entered Jesusland was the giant sign that said "What Will You Do With Eternity? Jesus is the Answer!!!" I actually thought to myself, "Actually, I was hoping to go to the bar."
- In Effingham, IL, we saw what must be the world's largest cross. At first we thought it was a memorial of some sort, but I guess its associated with crossusa.org. I could go to the website and check it out but I'm afraid I will be inundated with bible stuff in my email if I do so.

- The giant cross was followed up by a pitstop in somewhere where a guy was wearing a Property of Jesus t-shirt and so then I had to buy cigarettes. I don't smoke, but I was so stressed by all the Jesus love that I needed to do something and clearly drinking a bottle of wine in the car is not acceptable.
- 4:45pm: MY FIRST TRIP TO WALMART!!!!!!! Holy shit. What a crazy place. Lace blouses, produce and air freshener all in one place. No wonder its the midwest Mecca.
- 5:15pm: Kelly displays White Trash capabilities by smoking cigarette and drinking Diet Coke simultaneously.
- We took some pictures of the Arch in St. Louis and crossed the Mississippi River. Despite these two monumental moments in my life, Roommate and I decided we hate Missouri almost more than we hate Ohio. There's just NOTHING there except bad drivers, flat land and Jesus Humpers. None of which is for us. Oh, and there were a lot of porn warehouses. In Jesusland. Go figure.
- Once we crossed into Kansas it was about 8pm. This drive was actually pretty nice until we hit an incoming storm and literally felt like we were in the movie Twister. Random stuff was flying past the car and the wind on the plains was so intense I thought that the Sienna was going to blow over. Luckily I had packed so much stuff we were weighted down!
- At one point we encountered a toll. At the toll booth I paid our $2.00 in change and said "Have a great night!" to the woman at the booth. She snapped back at me "I'm not done counting yet!!!!!!" I said "Um, ok." Seriously, did she think I was going to try and cheat the toll booth?????
- I got pulled over in Kansas for going 90-something. The officer was very nice and only gave me a warning. I think he could see my fear of the oncoming twister in my eyes.
- There are NO lights on the highways in Kansas. For miles at a time we would be driving on a pitch black road in the middle of a pitch black corn field in the middle of a downpour and I swear I saw my life pass before my eyes.
- Thankfully, like a beacon in the night, we spotted the AmericInn in Rawlins, KS where we stayed the night. This is the hometown of Senators Bob Dole and Arlen Specter. Woo.
Final Mileage: 17490

Monday, August 7th, 17490 Miles on Sienna: Due to some intense waterskiing in Indy, Roommate awoke with intense arthritis in her hands and I can barely read her notes and she's not here in Spokane to translate for me. So, if none of this makes sense, sorry :)
- The states of Kansas, Colorado and Wyoming.
- In Oakley, KS we came across Prairie Dog Town, which is actually a dirty shanty owned by a woman wearing a horrid wig and who decided she needed to tell us her entire life story, which we did not want to hear.
-Prairie Dog Town (PDT) consisted of a lot of prairie dogs (which I was told can bite!) running around and digging holes and some other randon animals like foxes, turkeys, goats, buffalos (spelled "buffaloes" in Kansas) and a giant rabbit. Our big draw to PDT had been the sign for the world's largest prairie dog. This turned out to be a big wooden statue.

- Roommate was headbutted by a hungry goat. It hurt her.
- I got chased by a turkey after mock gobbling at it to get it to turn around for a photo op.
- We got attacked by red ants.
- In Colby, KS we FINALLY found a Starbucks. We hadn't seen one since leaving DC. The bathrooms were some serious luxury accomodations.
- We pulled into Denver around lunchtime. We were underwhelmed by the whole city, but I was able to make a Walgreens purchase!!!! I was in and out in 2 minutes. You just cannot get service like that at CVS!

This next part of Monday deserves its own section because it was hands down the best part of our trip. What is it, you may ask? Its the State of Wyoming.

- First of all, there were little antelopes in the prairie. They were so cute.
- There were WINDMILLS!!!! Since I was a child, I have loved windmills. If you are ever one 80 West from Cheyenne, you will come over a hill and see tons and tons of windmills. I did a happy dance in my seat.
- We took dozens of pictures of the mountains and rocks and valleys on this drive. They were so beautiful and were so many different colors and shapes and sizes. Its also such a quiet place. We got out of the Sienna a few times to take pictures and there was literally not a sound aside from us walking on the gravel.
- We would also drive for miles and not see one person or car. I can totally see why people want to live there.
- Except, we did learn that Wyoming now refers to itself as the "Equality State." Unfortunately, it took Matthew Shephard dying for that name to come about, but at least they're accepting now, right?
- We spent the night in Riverton, Wyoming. We ordered Domino's Pizza and bought some Bud Light. What else could you need after a long day?
Final Mileage: 18486

Tuesday, August 8th, 18486 Miles on Sienna: We decided to head up through Yellowstone and check out Old Faithful. This was an interesting day for us and included:
- The states of Wyoming, Montana and Idaho.
- On our way out of Riverton, we stopped for coffee at the Pony Express Espresso Drive Thru.
- We then passed through Kinnear, WY, Population: 44.
- We entered Shoshone National Forest and were surprised to then be caught in a traffic jam due to road construction. Its kind of hard to enjoy the scenery when you're constantly being slowed by the pace car leading your lane of cars or driving over really dusty dirt and gravel. I'm sure Shoshone was lovely, but we were too busy yelling at the people in front of us to hurry the f*ck up and drive faster to pay attention.
- To get to Yellowstone, we passed through the Grand Tetons. If you've never seen them before, stop reading this blog, get in the car and drive there. The park and the mountains are the most beautiful natural creations I've ever seen. We were in complete awe, even more so than we were while driving through southern Wyoming on Monday.

- Once we entered Yellowstone, we headed for Old Faithful. For those who don't know, OF is a geyser. So, its a hole in the ground and some hot water shoots out of it. We missed an eruption and had to sit around for 93 minutes and wait. It was lame.
- On our wayto OF, we read the material handed to us when we entered the park and we learned that a lot of people die at the horns of buffalo. Its called being gored. Buffalo can run up to 30 miles per hour, which is faster than a human can run, so they chase people down and the smash them with their heads. Of course later in the day we saw an entire family wading out into a valley to take pics of a buffalo, but we heeded the warning and stayed away.
- Roommate was really upset through most of Yellowstone because there were a lot of cars and she would have "prefer[ed] to be alone right now."
- After Yellowstone we entered the Big Sky State of Montana. We again encountered a heavy rain/Twister scenario, and this time it was almost completed with the flying cow because the wind was so strong.
- There are a lot of tall trees in Montana.
- A friend of mine who went to school at the University of Montana had told me that contrary to rampant rumors, there is in fact a speed limit in Montana, but that he had never seen someone get pulled over in Montana. Lucky for him he knows me, because I got a ticket. We had a lovely visit with a state trooper just outside of Superior, MT. He was like a one stop shop! He pulled me over, gave me a ticket, allowed me to pay on the side of the road (he even had change!!!!) and then wanted to know what I had done in DC and why I was moving to WA. Roommate had a nice chat with the horses on the side of the road. It was getting late.
- We stopped in Superior for a bathroom break and discovered that in Superior there are Blockbuster/Pizza/Liquor store combos! But they don't sell Sudafed, which Roommate was in desperate need of.
- Before entering Idaho, the Sienna displayed some questionable behavior, such as claiming the temperature went from 68 to 93 in .08 seconds, so we petted her and talked to her like we would a dog.
- We spent the night in Kellogg, ID, on the recommendation on the same U of MT friend. Its a ski town, but seeing as how its August, it was emtpy. We stayed at the Baymont Hotel, otherwise known as the Kellogg Senior Center for Checkers Players.
- We ended the day with the final mileage of 19150.

Wednesday, August 9th, 19150 miles on the Sienna: When we returned to the Sienna in the morning, we realized she was no longer the beautiful, flawless, glowing white she had been when we picked her up on the 4th. Instead, she was a muted caramel/puke color with large bugs and their guts plastered to the front. We only continued to contribute to this on our final day of the trip, as we:
- Traveled through the states of Idaho and Washington.
- We stopped at the Mocha Junction Caboose for coffee in Kellogg.

- We drove through Spokane so that Roommate could get a sense of my new home here. Then we got back on 90 West and soon realized that parts of Washington are uglier than Missouri and Kansas combined.
- Fittingly, we ended the trip in Seattle, WA at Microsoft. We started in the seat of the federal government, and ended at the technology empire of the world.

All in all it was a great trip! It was sad to say goodbye to Roommate and to drive back to Spokane by myself, but we had so much fun and highly recommend a cross country drive to everyone, if its a possibility. Now that I am in Spokane, expect many more updates on life in Spokompton and maybe we'll even hear from Blesus sometime before New Years!!

8/11/2006

I've Arrived!!

Here I am in Spokane, WA!! I have to say, its nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. My apartment is cute, my neighborhood (Brown's Addition) is adorable, I've seen three drive-thru Starbucks and I bought the most comfortable bed EVER. Oh, and I think I met a cute boy in my building. So far, so good.

I have lots and lots and lots of updates from the roadtrip, but I am about to head out to buy: a car, a shower curtain, some furniture, garbage bags and paper towels. Not necessarily in that order. But seriously, furnishing and stocking an entire apartment is expensive and stressful. I expect to spend at least 70% of my day trying to pick out plates and matching cups, b/c that kind of stuff is important when you are in law school. So, hopefully there will be some pictures and a longer version of the first roadtrip update soon. Stay tuned.......

8/07/2006

Live From Riverton, Wyoming!!

Hello Friends!!! Roommate and I are coming to you from the Comfort Inn in lovely Riverton, Wyoming. But don't worry about us - we have Bud Light and Domino's Pizza. All the comforts of home!!

We can't really sum up the trip well without the accompanying photos and I don't have the patience to upload them right now, but here are a few highlights to wet your appetite for details:

Day 1: We called in a drunk driver in West Virginia and we were tricked into driving through the ENTIRE State of Ohio, where apparently its still cool to rock the confederate flag belt buckle.

Day 2: Spent whole day on a lake in Indiana.

Day 3: My God, Missouri sucks. Kansas sucks a little bit less, but its a close race.

Day 4: Three words - Prairie Dog Land. And we may be moving to Wyoming.

Tomorrow we're headed up to Yellowstone and then the Big Sky State of Montana. Look forward to more stories upon our arrival in urban America, Seattle, Wa.

8/03/2006

Memories, Part Deux......

- Gold Cup 2003 for LamRad's birthday and the ghetto party bus we were in pulled over on the side of the road and every girl on board got off and lined up along the side of the highway to pee. Then we got back to Capitol Hill and the bus died - literally died!!! - the minute we pulled up to LamRad's house.

- Fourth of July 2004, which no one seems to remember.

- Kentucky Derby 2006 when Slacker friend threw up all over his madras print shorts and then we stumbled/fell our way down to Penn to get a cab at 4am. Those were not good times.

- Married Couple's wedding when I lost Roommate, accused some 19 year old of stealing her, and then found her passed out, fully dressed (with shoes still intact!!!) on the bed in our hotel room.

- Hurricane Isabelle - BEST. NIGHT. EVER. The entire staff of my Washington State office was at Lounge 201 for the K Street premiere and we all got the call at the same time that the office was closed the next day, due to the hurricane. I don't know if there's ever been another Wednesday night when I've been to Lounge 201, Cap Lounge, Tom Tom's and Heaven and Hell all in the same night.

- Power Hour with female half of Married Friends and River Road.

- When I fell down walking home to Porkchop's house one night and broke my finger.

- Election Nights 2002 and 2004. Neither carry really good memories, but the parties have always been fun when we thought our party actually had a chance at winning.

- Potlatch 2005 when Roommate and I got stuck at a table with all staff assistants and a lobbyist.

- The time I got so excited about Madonna's "Like a Prayer" that I threw my phone across the bar and it smashed into a wall and broke.

- March Madness 2006. Adam Morrison cried on the floor like a baby. Yes, I know I will be going to Gonzaga, but I loved being in a room of people who hate their basketball team as much as I do. Boo Hoo, Adam. BOO HOO!

8/02/2006

Memories, In The Corner of My Mind........

Can I drag this out any longer? After months and months of planning and hoping time would slow to an almost complete stop, I will finally be departing DC on Friday. Its a sad time for me, but I'm also excited about the upcoming *ahem* adventure in law school. I've spent much of the last few weeks saying goodbye to various friends and co-workers, which is kind of funny to me b/c I know I will see so many of these people soon. But saying goodbye, or "see you later!" as Roommate puts it, has caused me to reflect on some of my favorite memories in DC. Many of them can't be explained and will only be understood by those present for each of these events, but I thought I would make a list of them anyways.

- To start at the beginning, when I first moved here and didn't know any better, I lived in Virginia. And I lived in a group house where I SWEAR one of the other girls was a former mail order bride-turned-prostitute. What gave it away for me was one night when I was up late with friends in the living room and over the course of 3 hours, she brought 3 different men into the house. One time, after I moved out, I saw her at Sequoia and I hid. I think she didn't like me b/c I told the landlord I thought she was a prostitute and the landlord evicted everyone (I had already moved out. Sorry, everybody!)

- Then I moved out and still lived in Virginia. I lived with the world's messiest person ever and she never cleaned her room and one time I came home from work and the exterminator had been there and had found roaches nesting in her room. I moved out.

- Its really when I actually moved into the district that life became interesting. Roommate and I discovered that Cap Lounge was within walking distance of the apartment and proceeded to pick up the tab 3-4 times a week for people like we weren't making $26,000/year.

- For my first two years in DC I worked for a Congressman from my new home state of Washington. He is really cool, as is his staff. Except sometimes the constituents weren't too nice. Being from CA, they automatically hated me. One time, a group who had come in for a tour booed me. Literally. It went like this:
Constituent: "Where in WA are you from?"
Kelly: "Actually, I'm from California."
Entire group of constituents in loud voices and accompanying thumbs down:" BOOOOOO!!!!"

- Roommate used to have to park in the depths of the Thurgood Marshall building. One time we drove home after happy hour at the now-defunct Red River Grill (currently known as Union Pub. Has anyone actually been since it reopened?). Well, sometimes its hard to see the large cement column in the rearview mirror and Roommate bumped it ever so slightly. The result of the bump was a minor scratch on the back bumper, but being in our post-happy hour state, we completely freaked out and called Roommate's Sister in Australia. Yes, you read that correctly. Roommate's Sister and the Sister's boyfriend wanted us to send them a picture. Since we didn't have a digital camera at the time, I decided to use my exceptional artistic abilities to draw a sketch of the bumper. Since Roommate drives a Ford Escape, and I was drunk, the picture really is just a large square with some circles for tires and a squiggly line towards the bottom and an arrow pointing at it that says "All Dented In." When we scanned it in and emailed it to Sister and Sister's boyfriend the next day, they mercilessly made fun of us.

-The Washington State Society hosts a large party every year called Potlatch. The first year that I went, the dancing to the Tony Bennett/Frank Sinatra cover band was a little out of control. Pantz, who had worn a bright blue dress and was easily identifiable from anywhere in the ballroom, was being frantically spun by her partner. I looked up from my own dance party and saw her kneeling on the side of the dance floor, puking into a trash can.

- The next day, I had to drive to Annapolis with my parents and I threw up in a trash bag in the backseat. As Pantz would say, "Damn, we're classy."

- The time(s) that Roommate, Pantz and I would spend the night at River Road because we were too intoxicated to get home from the bar on our own.

- Wednesday night West Wing and pasta bake/tacos at River Road.

- Which was eventually replaced by La Lomita Taco Salad Night and Lost at 1233.

- There were these two guys I work with - also Washingtonians - who used to recite, word for word, the entire Jack Nicholson monologue from A Few Good Men while we were having Mail Parties.

- The time I went to work for the crazy Congresswoman from California who was so mean she used to make me cry every day. I think that was supposed to be a character-building experience or something, but I just really relish the day I hung up on her Joker-looking ass.

- All the bbq's at Calvert, minus the time I fell down the stairs.

- Also, I loved all of my birthday parties in DC, minus the time I fell out of a cab.

- One time I fell down while walking home with a boy. He said to me, "So, are you really embarrassed right now?"

- One time Roommate and I saw Sandra Day O'Connor at the Lincoln Memorial. Only in DC.

- My ex-boyfriend and I trying to make Thanksgiving dinner for the two of us. I dropped the turkey on the floor.

- My friend LamRad has a penchant for making obnoxious/hilarious comments in the cab on the way home from the bar. One time she told the driver she would pee in his backseat if he didn't drive faster. The other time, she was bringing home a guy who was too drunk to remember her name and she tried to push him out of the moving vehicle with her feet while I tried to hold the door open.

- Dance party at the Hawk N' Dove "club" with this really tall guy I know. I was trying to teach him and Roommate how to do the Electric Slide.

- When Best Party Friend came to visit.

- Sunday nights at JR's with the gay boyfriends.

- Ceiba/Sofitel/Willard with my mom, Roommate and the gay boyfriends. Many bottles of wine were consumed.

I could really go on and on and I'm sure that when I post this I will remember many more moments. So maybe there will be a round two.