9/22/2006

Washington DC's Worst Landlord

Now, as you all know, Blesus and I are careful to protect the identity of our friends and the people we encounter in our every day lives and subsequently write about on this blog.

Well, folks, the day has come where I suspend that practice. I haven't taken Constitutional Law yet (though I will next semester) and am unclear on the rules surrounding what does and does not constitute slander and defamation of character, but I'm willing to take a chance and officially out DC's worst landlord. Well, with a first name - Bob.

Bob is THE WORST LANDLORD in the entire District of Columbia. Oh, let me count the ways:
1)There was the time when Roommate and I went to Chicago for New Years. One wall of the kitchen had a leak. Apparently, the contractor Bob hired FIXED THE WRONG WALL and then painted over our lovely red wall.

2)There was the time that the sink didn't work for 2 years and it took me calling a plumber, who only worsened the problem, for us to get a new sink.

3)One time, the washer broke and leaked water ALL OVER the kitchen and it took Bob a week to 1)get us a plumber or 2)get us a new washer. Thanks, again, to Married Couple, who let me do laundry at their house for hours and hours.

4)He hired contractors to do work on our apartment, didn't tell us about it, and then gave them keys to our apartment and told them they could show up to work "whenever it was convenient for them." Imagine how awesome it was for me and Roommate to get home for the gym at 7pm and see that they were just getting started on pulling up carpet/sanding wooden steps/laying tile/being generally annoying. They would work until at least 10pm every night. We love them.

5)Remember that leak that we had? I think its still there.

6)The bathroom sink broke. Still not fixed.

7)The tiles fell out of the shower. Still not fixed.

8)Roommate's bedroom ceiling leaked. Never fixed.
9)Whenever we call Bob, he either hangs up on us when he hears our voices, lies to us, pretends he can't hear us ("Hello??" "Hello?"), or is an all-around asshole who is generally annoyed with actually having to do work on the piece of crap apartment we lived in.

10)We moved out of the apartment on August 1 and gave Bob PLENTY of notice. We are still waiting to hear about our deposit. I am now threatening him with DC Housing and am tempted to throw my Property professor into the mix (she graciously offered to help all of us with "any housing issues we may encounter" here in Spokane.....I'm SURE she wouldn't mind brushing up on DC housing laws).

This is just a word to the wise. If you ever encounter a man named Bob who is a landlord somewhere near 12th and C SE, I suggest you stay away. Nothing will ever get fixed. He won't respond to your emails. He won't answer your calls. He won't give you your deposit back. To end with the mantra that Roommate and I adpoted over the 3 years we lived there, "Bob Sucks!"

9/14/2006

Transcript: Editors Meeting - Kelly and Blesus on Bobby and Whitney

FROM: KELLY
TO: BLESUS107
Subject: devastation

Are you so hearbroken over the Whitney-Bobby separation? This new development brings many questions to my mind: Will she stop doing crack? Will she return to the Diva Days of yore? Can she still sing? If she does stop hittin' the crack pipe, what will you call your sweat rag???

FROM: BLESUS 107
TO: KELLY
Subject: Re: devestation

yes, I weeped in my pillows last night. This news reminds me of one of my favorite Earth Wind and Fire songs:

That's the Way of the World

Hearts of fire creates love desire
Take you high and higher to the world you belong
Hearts of fire creates love desire
High and higher to your place on the throne.

We've come together on this special day
To sing our message loud and clear
Looking back we've touched on sorrowful days
Future pass, they disappear

You will find peace of mind
If you look way down in your heart and soul
Don't hesitate 'cause the world seems cold
Stay young at heart 'cause you're never (never, never, ..) old at heart

That's the way of the world
Plant your flower and you grow a pearl
A child is born with a heart of gold
The way of the world makes his heart grow cold

All of your questions are valid and have crossed my mind as well. I believe that Whitney may or may not spiral out of control. She may just fall over the edge out of depression and the loss of a friend, companion and bad influence. However, she may not because of the latter. Bobby was a bad influence and because that influence has more or less been removed from her life, she may rebound quite well. I've seen recent pictures of her and she seems to have gained weight, which means she may be off the crack . She and Clive Davis are still tight so I'm praying that she will use this bit of misfortune as a springboard for a monumental comeback. PS: love the use of the word "yore."

And finally, I will NEVER cease from calling my rags anything but Whitney Rags. In my eyes, Whitney will always sweat and so will I.



FROM: KELLY
TO: BLESUS107
Subject: Re: Re: devestation

I am in my crim law class right now. D Y I N G. You'd think it'd be interesting, right? Nope. Not with this professor. We literally analyze cases sentence by sentence. You know what would spice it up? A case where Whitney left Bobby and he spiraled out of control and went on a crime spree, consisting of robbing 7-11s, smoking crack with Divine Brown and walking naked down the street singing "My Prerogative," or perhaps a New Edition oldie but goodie.

FROM: BLEUS107
TO: KELLY
Subject: Re: Re: Re: devestation

or my fav. Bobby song: RONI!!!

"Roni"
Bobby Brown

The truth about Roni, she's a sweet little girl
You could treat her nice real and hold her tight
Only tenderonis can give special love
A special kind of love that makes you feel good inside

If you believe in love and all that it can do for you
Give it a chance, girl, you'll find romance
And if you find a tenderoni that is right for you
Make it official, give her your love

My heart (Woo) belongs to tenderoni (She's my only love)
She's my only love (My only heart, baby)
My heart (Yeah) belongs to tenderoni (She's my only love)
She's my only love

The truth about Roni, she's always on the phone
Talkin' to her homeboy, wishin' they were home alone, ooh
She send you lovely letters with the smell of sweet perfume
This is what a real tenderoni likes to do to you

And if you believe in love and all that it can do for you
Give it a chance, girl, you'll find romance
And if you find a tenderoni that is right for you
Make it official, give her your love, ooh, yeah

My heart belongs to tenderoni (She's my only love)
She's my only love (My only heart)
My heart belongs to tenderoni (She's my only love)
She's my only love

The truth about Roni, she's a sweet ol' girl
About the sweetest little girl in the whole wide world
She'll make the toughest homeboy fall deep in love
Said once you had a Roni you will never give her up
She's a special kind of girl that makes her daddy feel proud
You know the kinda girl that stands out in crowds
Found a tenderoni and the Roni is so right
I think I'm gonna love her for the rest of my life

If you believe in love and all that it can do for you
And if you find a tenderoni that is right for you
Make it official, give her your love, ooh, yeah

My heart belongs to tenderoni (She's my only lover)
She's my only love (My only heart)
My heart belongs to tenderoni (She's my only love)
She's my only love

The truth about Roni, she's a sweet ol' girl
About the sweetest little girl in the whole wide world
She'll make the toughest homeboy fall deep in love
Said once you had a Roni you will never give her up
She's a special kind of girl that makes her daddy feel proud
You know the kinda girl that stands out in crowds
Found a tenderoni and the Roni is so right
I think I'm gonna love her for the rest of my life

My heart belongs to tenderoniShe's my only love (My only heart)
My heart belongs to tenderoni (She's my only love)
She's my only love

The truth about Roni, she's a sweet ol' girl
About the sweetest little girl in the whole wide world
She'll make the toughest homeboy fall deep in love
Said once you had a Roni you will never give her up
She's a special kind of girl that makes her daddy feel proud
You know the kinda girl that stands out in crowds
Found a tenderoni and the Roni is so right
I think I'm gonna love her for the rest of my life

My heart belongs to tenderoni
She's my only love

FROM: KELLY
TO: BLESUS107
Subject: RE: Re: Re: Re: devestation

"tenderoni??????????"

No wonder he does crack

Thursday Nugget

An email I received today from Turkish Delight:

To: Blesus 107
From: Turkish Delight
Re: I'm Uncomfortable


Umm my coworker just came into my office to tell me about how he caught his dogs who are brother and sister, having doggie sex. And then the girl dog got preggers and he had to get her an abortion and the vet was trying to give him a moral dilemma and he was like "look I’m paying you to de-pregify my dog. Just do it!"


WATCH YOUR DOGGIES, KIDDIES!

9/06/2006

Observations on Law School

Creative title, huh? Its the law school thing. It sucks all creativity out of me. I have none.

But I'm going to try, for the sake of a good post! Here are just some random law school musings I had today:

1)Why does it take a judge, like, 9 pages to say what he/she could say in 10 sentences? I wish they would just tell me what happened, who the plaintiff and defendant are, how they're going to rule and why. Also, if they could boil 7 of the pages down to really simple sentences, such as "In this case, I will apply the five factor reasonableness test to decide if the court has jurisdiction," that would make my life A LOT easier. This also applies to professors. Its taken one of my professors THREE WEEKS to get out one simple sentence that would have made my life and those of my peers A LOT simpler. I swear they do it on purpose.

2)Law school is just like high school. Cliques have formed. Gossip is spreading like wildfire. Yesterday I heard about some girl who likes this guy in my class, so she told one of his friends that she likes Guy #1 and asked Guy #2 if Guy #1 "ever mentions her." Oh PS - Girl and Guy #1 have never met. Maybe she should pass him a note in class.

3)Speaking of which, one of my friends and I type notes to each other in class. Its what I imagine life was like before IM. I guess we think we're undercover about it since we're typing on a large, blank Word document with no other words on it, rather than an IM screen?

4)Sometimes I like to come home when I get out of school or the gym and watch Oprah and/or soap operas depending on my reading load for the night. I find this to be completely acceptable.

5)The library isn't quiet. People talk all the time. I'm going to have to start taking my iPod with me b/c today I almost kicked a girl b/c she was talking so loudly and distracting me from a very important blog I was reading. Obviously, it was PerezHilton.com

6)People are totally willing to sell out their friends to look good to the professor. For example, say my Civil Procedure professor calls on Beth to answer question about a case. If she falters, even for half a second, her friends Frank, Joe, Liz and Betsy all have their hands up. And if they do get called on, its plain as day that they aren't trying to "help a sister out." Nope. They want to look better than the person who was called on. I told one of my friends today that if she ever gets called on and doesn't know the answer, I will not raise my hand b/c that's the kind of friend I am. (that would be a good friend, for those of you who are confused)

With those randim musings out in the blogosphere, I leave you now for even more civil procedure reading. Its totally what all the cool kids are doing.